selfish ..

this past week I've been so very busy ..

hectic , rushing with time ..

countdown to the big day.. ouchhhh ..

tinggal 3minggu lagi , ternyata oh..ternyata... masih banyak hal yg belum beres
semua keteteran , akibat terlalu santai dan mementingkan yg ga penting , sedangkan yg penting ga di pentingkan .. bingung kan ??? hahaha ... pressing come from all over side ..
smoga smua nya bisa berjalan lancar ...

aarrgghhhhh.......

sedang malas bercerita ... sedang malas berbagi ...
sedang ingin menyimpan semua nya sendiri .. sedang ingin menjadi egois ...

THE ULAT BULU ATTACK ...

whoaa... late..late..late.. I'm late again this morning ... as usually .. AGAIN..
late for my very first time coffee morning with the boss... argghhh...
i wish i could be more organize ...
gara-gara salah prediksi waktu jarak tempuh, dan ketidakadaan angkot
yg membuat sy harus menunggu ... hukz .. T_T ...

okai.. my bad luck continue ...
ohhh..damn .. a lot of hairy caterpillar here .. euww..
ULAT BULU ATTACK ... geezz.. so many baby ulat bulu meliuk-liuk
pamer in bulu nya yg jabrig-jabrig.. arrgghhhhhh ....
gatel-gatel... garuk-garuk..
ga pernah se takut ini sebelum nya sama yg namanya ulet.. tapi kali ini..
oh... banyak sekali baby ulet nya.. ampe harus extra waspada klo mau ngelangkah
dan duduk... apalagi di taman bambu...
ouchhhh... so many there ..
ketenangan hari i i di ganggu oleh pasukan ulat bulu...

tapi..ternyata si ulat bulu ga segitu menyebalkan nya ko..
ya..mereka memang jelek..dalam masa terjeleknya persis nya,
hebatnya setelah itu, the ugly caterpillar they transform become
the beautiful creature called butterfly...

ga heran di sini banyak baby ulet bulu..
karena ternyata , kupu-kupu cantik-cantik juga banyak terbang-terbang di sini..
warna warni cantik.. siapa sangka si kupu-kupu cantik itu dulunya si uylat jelek...

the bottom line here is...
do not judge people from the outlook ..
sesuatu yg terlihat jelek belum tentu asli nya jelek juga..
like the caterpillar with the butterfly ...
proses makes perfect ...

ahh.. sudahlah..tulisan saya mulai tak berarah..heu..

it's gettin late here.. time to sleep and wake up early again for tomorrow...

smoga besok ga telat yaa... hoammm ... zZzZzZ...

NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCKS ...

yeay... tomorrow will be great ....
my second days work at selasar sunaryo art space . .

ART .. yup.. the only thing that i know about art is painting .. haha.. only painting..
ya..ya..ya.. i was a lil' bit dumb about ART .. sense of ART = ZERO...
how could someone who doesn't know anything about art can work in one of the famous gallery in town .. ???hmph.. i guess i must figure it out too ...

enough then.. I've to wake up very early in the morning ..

oh.. i love this job ..and the place exactly ...

THE DEVILS WEARS PRADA

Tadi saya nonton film ini. Tampak telat? Ya saya tau… Awalnya memang nggak niat nonton. Tapi karena tingkat rasa bosan sudah sangat akut, saya pinjem dvd temen saya, dan beberapa film lainnya, termasuk Sex and the City2 dan film drama lain nya..

Dan saya suka The Devil Wears Prada!!! Malah membayangkan saya jadi seorang Andrea Sachs. Hahahahaha… Sounds like a daydream! Hal yang paling touchy adalah ketika Andrea Sachs merubah penampilannya. Menjadi perempuan glam. Cantik. Menenteng Louis Vuitton dan trench coat Christian Dior. Juga sepatu Manolo Blahnik.

Bukan, bukan. Esensi cantik buat saya bukan dengan pakai kemeja Lanvin seharga 15 juta atau jaket Viviene Westwood. Yah karena film itu bercerita tentang intrik di dunia fashion, jadi namanama dari merek terkenal dan mendunia itu yang selalu disebutsebut. The thing is someday, saya juga mau berubah. Berubah jadi saya yang terlihat perempuan. Nggak seperti saya yang sekarang. Hahahaha… Saya yang nggak bisa dandan. Saya yang nggak suka pake baju ‘perempuan’.

Namanama seperti Fendi, Marc Jacobs, Oscar de la Renta, dan merekamereka itu saya kenal sejak desember lalu. Waktu Elle menjadi majalah yang saya baca. Sedikitnya, isi dari Elle yang sangatsangat fashion, mempengaruhi pikiran saya untuk bisa tampil cantik, walaupun hanya 10%, mungkin. Sisanya? Yah masih seperti ega yang duludulu. Well, setidaknya saya bisa tampil sedikit rapih. Sedikit ya, nggak banyak… :D

Hmmm, sekarang saya udah ‘bisa’ milih baju. Maksudnya, dulu itu setiap kali beli baju, pilihan saya nggak pernah jauh dari t-shirt, kemeja, dan sweater. Sebetulnya sekarang juga masih, tapi kali ini saya mencari di bagian yang ada tulisan “WOMEN”. Sounds ridiculous for me… Sedikitsedikit saya mulai mencari ‘egha’ yang baru tanpa harus meninggalkan atau menghilangkan ‘egha’ yang lama. Yang mana aja deh tergantung mood… Kalo lagi pengen terlihat ‘cewe banget’, ya saya pake dress. Tapi kalo lagi males dandan dan mood lagi messy, yang balik lagi pake sweater dan t-shirt. Ugh, I always depends on my mood…

Tapi sih Converse mah nggak bisa *atau belum mungkin yah!* diganti sama pump shoes.***

23 and a flat tire attitude

I have been staying in more and more lately - doing absolutely nothing. My attitude reflects that of a flat tire.

I refuse to believe this is a sign of turning old and boring! I think I need adrenaline shots on Fri & Sat nights as well as in life too.

Thankfully I have T'. His fun-loving attitude is the one anchor that keeps me from becoming boring.

THE STORY OF THE PENCIL

A boy was watching his grandmother write a letter. At one point he asked:

‘Are you writing a story about what we’ve done? Is it a story about me?’
His grandmother stopped writing her letter and said to her grandson:
I am writing about you, actually, but more important than the words is the pencil I’m using. I hope you will be like this pencil when you grow up.’
Intrigued, the boy looked at the pencil. It didn’t seem very special.
‘But it’s just like any other pencil I’ve ever seen!’
‘That depends on how you look at things. It has five qualities which, if you manage to hang on them, will make you a person who is always at peace with the world.’

‘First quality: you are capable of great things, but you must never forget that there is a hand guiding your steps. We call that hand God, and He always guides us according to His will.’
‘Second quality: now and then, I have to stop writing and use a sharpner. That makes the pencil suffer a little, but afterwards, he’s much sharper. So you, too, must learn to bear certain pains and sorrows, because they will make you a better person.
‘Third quality: the pencil always allows us to use an eraser to rub out any mistakes. This means that correcting something we did is not necessarily a bad thing; it helps to keep us on the road to justice.’
‘Fourth quality: what really matters in a pencil is not its wooden exterior, but the graphite inside. So always pay attention to what is happening inside you.’
‘Finally, the pencil’s fifth quality: it always leaves a mark. in just the same way, you should know that everything you do in life will leave a mark, so try to be conscious of that in your every action’

the guy that i fallin in to ..

nahh ... just love you're stupidity

be honest i love you're tattoo , but i denial and said i don't like it.. xoxo

yes sir.. my silly soldier

[ .. BRIGHTEST..]

If you find yourself here
On my side of town
I pray that you'd come to my door

And talk to me
Like you don't know
What we ever fought about
I don't remember anymore

I just know that he warms my heart
And knows what all my imperfections are

And he said that I was the brightest
Little firefly in his jar

And I just know that he warms my heart
And knows what all my imperfections are

And he says that I am the brightest
Little firefly in his jar


                                    **COPELAND - BRIGHTEST**

perahu kertas

Akhirnya setiap hati hanya bisa kembali pasrah dalam aliran yang mengalir entah ke mana. Seperti perahu kertas yang dihanyutkan di parit, di empang, di kali, di sungai,
tapi selalu bermuara di tempat yang sama.
Meski kadang pahit, sakit, dan meragu,
tapi hati sesungguhnya selalu tahu....

i love u .. the beggining ...

jatinangor 26 nov 2005
lokasi : panggung permanen di kampus sastra pas lg ad acara tp gtw yg lg manggung band apa


him : whispering to my ear and says "i just wanna say that i love you" ...


me : senyum-senyum blushing ga jelas sambil ngoceh dalem hati
( i knew it , i know he will say that magical word.. )
mm .. masih senyum dan mematung berharap ada lanjutan dari kalimat itu ,
( let say "would u be my girl ?" sentences , or "mau jadi pacar aku ga ?" ato kalimat
paling norak sekalian"kita jadian yuu") keluar dari mulut nya ..
but he says nothing ..
ampe prjalanan pulang pun, ampe depan pintu rumah dan gw masuk
rumah pun dia ga bilang apa2 lagi..
weird .. katanya "i love u" tapi ko tiis bgt, ga ngajak jadian
ato minta jawaban apa gt dr mulut gw.. huh .. jadi ga puguh
( maklum 5taun yg lalu gw masih anak abg yg kalo pacaran harus ada kata jadian nya dulu baru
afdol..haha)

and that night ended up with me tryin to figure it out what he was saying...
(ga bisa tidur aslinya,bingung.......... jadian ato ngga yaa ini ???)


damn ... it was 5 years ago ... time has moving to fast ...

nyatain nya ga romantis sama sekali ,hukz..
but it was the happiest moment , coz I've find out the guy who grab my attention
has the same feeling as I am ... cintaku ga bertepuk sebelah tangan... o_O

a lot of things has happens in 5 year .. the bitter, the sweet ... high and low ..
kalo harus di ceritain semua, ga akan cukup cuma satu kali posting.. ^_^
2 kali putus .. beratus2 pertengkaran .. berjuta2 kebahagiaan .. semua dilewatin berdua..

from the first time i see him, i just knew that he was the one ...

hugs and kiss for you....you..yes you my husband to be ...
love you soooo much ...

*** ada dua hal yg sebenernya pengen dilakuin waktu dia beres bilang 3 magical word itu
antara jawab dan bilang "i love u too" straight to his face , ato spontan cium pipi nya pas dia pamit mau balik abis nganterin gw pulang... tapi ga ada yg di lakuin karna kadar gengsi gw yg tinggi mengharuskan gw buat tetep behave dan jual mahal.. hahaha... ***

Love is joy. Don't convince yourself that suffering is part of it.

LOVE IS JOY...
and suffering well there is suffering and there is SUFFERING....

the kind that helps you change and grow making you wiser, kinder, stronger and more loving or

the kind that drags you and the other person involved down- where you can only see each others doubles, and your own misery. this kind of suffering comes from fear, and from placing expectations on a love that should be unconditional this suffering is not part of love.

Time it's ticking .. lalalala

APRIL .. MEI .. 01 mei , 02 mei ..... 23 MEI .. YEAH..

tik..tok..tik..tok.. time it's ticking ..

dunno how i fell .. mesti nya sih deg2an, harus nya sih deg2an , kata org sih biasanya deg2an..
tapi tidak ternyata.. ko biasa aja yaa ?? hmph..
it's the big day of my entire life , but I'm heading it with such a plain feeling (means..bukan brarti ga seneng ,justru bahagia malahan,tp cm ga ngerasain deg2an yg kata org bilang aja..ato belum kali yaa ??) hmph..lets see how i look one week before the big day.. haha..
excited bgt , ga sabar nunggu nya.. imagine how my hand looks like with the ring on my finger..

one of my friend ask me.. "are u ready, 100% ready to take the big step ???" and i said, "i'm totally ready .. but there's no mathematics in love beby ..
siap mah siap aja ga pake persen2an.. haha
kesiapan nya fluktuatif .. klo lg seneng dan bahagia, tingkat persen nya bukan 100% lg, 1000% malah, tp kl lg ngadepin kerikil2 di jalan aga suka turun gt persen nya.. hahaha...
yang penting di hati udah panceg **klo kata org tua mah** apa pun, gmn pun , klo hati nya udah yakin semua jalan pasti di mudahin.. amin .. heuheu..

makin deket hari nya , makin mulai kerasa ga sehat emosi nya..
hal kecil aja bisa bikin kerusuhan..
bener ternyata kata org tua klo calon penganten tuh harus di pingit..
alesan nya sih sebenernya simple bgt ,buat menghindari hal2 yg ga di pengenin.
klo ketemu terus , bahan buat terjadi konflik pasti nya banyak ..
kerasa jg sih jd gampang berantrem akhir2 ini.. heuheu ...
tapi, buat pasangan yg ngurusin segala tetek bengek semuanya sendiri, ( saya maksud nya ) tampak ga mungkin lama2 di pingit.. seminggu sebelum hari H nya jg kynya masih harus bareng,
klo ga gt siapa yg ngurusin.. hikz.. (T_T) ... jd kapan di pingit nya klo gt ?? tampak ga ada pingit2an .. hukz ..

anyway ... still can't believe next month i'm gonna be someone's someone, being Ms.santoso ..
hahahahaha...

love each other : check ..
parent's approval : check ..
ready to live with each other and accept each others shortcomings : check ..
financially ready : mmm.. not so sure, but still working on it..